


Behind the Tears, Inside the Lies

by wildwinterwitch



Series: Driftwood [15]
Category: Broadchurch, True Love (TV)
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Series 1 Episode 8, Spoiler Warning: Names Killer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 09:43:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwinterwitch/pseuds/wildwinterwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Holly brings Alec breakfast the morning after their confession.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Behind the Tears, Inside the Lies

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from “People Help the People” by Birdy
> 
> SPOILER WARNING: NAMES KILLER.

Now that he’d figured out who Danny’s killer was, he should have felt a sense of relief, but what he really felt was as though the weight of the world had slammed onto his shoulders from a great height. A height like the cliffs behind him. They had been menacing when he’d first seen them as a wee lad, and they certainly hadn’t become any less impressive. What he’d liked, however, was coming to the beach to watch the ebb and flow of the waves, and the sound the pebbles made as the water brushed over them, playing their own game of marbles with them. Back then, he’d never bothered to collect the pieces of sea glass, although he'd been fascinated by the way the shards were opaque from wear.

A small heap of sea glass was lying between his legs as he watched the waves. There was soon going to be a much bigger heap of shards, and they’d be sharp around the edges.

His mother’s last words rang in his ears. _“God will put you in the right place, even if you don’t know it at the time.”_ He wondered when that was going to happen. This couldn’t be it. When he finally told Ellie, he’d be breaking up her family. Worse yet, prying her out of the only community she’d ever known. He doubted that Beth, with all her rage, would ever be able to forgive Ellie. He doubted Ellie would ever forgive herself for not noticing a change in her husband. But how was she supposed to notice? A secret kept close enough to your heart was safe forever, unless, of course, it was so terrible it broke you.

He knew a thing or two about that. He’d kept a secret to protect his daughter. He’d also not noticed the change in his wife. Well, he had, but there’d never been a good time to confront her. If he were honest with himself, he’d been too scared to ask, but mostly there was never really enough trust between them for him to even try. There were enough stories going round the station about other marriages breaking up.

And now there was Holly. She, too, had a terrible secret, a secret that could send her to prison if the girls’ parents were so inclined. Her explanation for falling for the girl was the need for someone to understand and appreciate her. A need that was mutual. A need he understood. It was exactly that need that had first brought Holly and him together. The question was, and he’d been asking himself this for a while, where need ended and genuine feelings of love started.

He picked up one of the shards. It was one of these that had managed to cut deeper through his shell than he’d imagined possible.

Just like Ellie, she’d cared enough about him to put up with his bad temper. He’d let himself allow her in because they’d come to an agreement that made things comfortable in the beginning, and to be honest he’d been glad to peel away the DI with his suit and reveal naked Alec beneath it.

He had done the same for Holly, and now that he had revealed her secret he was sat here, debating whether to break up with her over a former lover. A late lover. A lover who had clearly bolstered Holly’s self-esteem, but also a lover who, despite that, hadn’t reached her innermost heart.

He ran his fingers over the smooth edge of the shard. This one was brown, and when he ran his damp thumb over the gentle curve, the colour reminded him of Holly’s warm eyes. He held it up against the sun light. The similarity was even more striking.

He took a shuddering breath.

He wasn’t ready to reduce what he and Holly had to a heap of shards over a short-lived affair with a girl who was dead now.

Ellie popped into his mind, and Joe, and the two times they’d had dinner together. He’d enjoyed both of these dinners, even though he’d resisted the first one. He _had_ to shatter their life. Did he have to shatter his and Holly’s too — provided, of course, they had a life?

“Oh, Hardy, getting ahead of yerself much, eh?” he muttered, pocketing the piece of sea glass that reminded him of Holly’s eyes.

The sound of shoes grating on pebbles roused him from his thoughts. When he looked up, he saw Holly standing there, her trainers in stark contrast to her stockinged legs and smart skirt. She was holding a paper bag in one hand, and a camping mat and blanket in the other.

“Hey you.”

“Hey,” he rasped, his voice raw.

“Help me with this?” she asked, holding out the blanket for him. He took it and the camping mat, spread the latter and draped the former over their legs when they were seated. The sudden warmth came as a shock to him. He’d not realised how cold the morning was, despite the glorious sunshine.

“Lovely spot for breakfast,” she said, revealing the contents of the paper bag; tea and coffee and two gorgeous croissants from the expensive French bakery on the high street.

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” he said, gingerly accepting the hot paper cup of tea. He found the stirring stick and managed to fish the tea bag out of it. The tea, more than chemicals or the case, would see him through the day.

“You might get a little peckish later,” she said. “I know I will.”

They shared breakfast in silence for a while.

“I returned the car.”

He nodded.

Her next words surprised him, or rather, the certainty with which she said them. “You found the killer.”

“Aye.”

“I’m good at sussing people out too, you know,” she said. “I’m just not used to doing it with actual people.”

He laughed briefly.

“It’s bad, isn’t it.”

“Aye.” He drank his coffee.

She leaned into him, and he surprised himself by draping his arm around her shoulders. He was going to miss this. Her.

“What about the medical exam?”

“I’ve got to get through that first.”

“You’ll not pass that,” she said.

“No.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Arrest the killer, close the case. And then? I have no idea.”

“You could stay with me for a while. If you want.”

“I don’t… I’m not sure, Holly. It’s a bit soon to… to be taking that step,” he said, feeling the dull piece of sea glass bite even deeper into his flesh. He’d certainly not expected that.

“I know what Karen and I had was illegal. And that the thought of me being with a woman is not easy to understand. I don’t understand it myself,” she said. “It did feel right at the time. I know it’s no excuse, but there was only a brief period when I was her teacher while we were together. I left my job. I moved here and took another, and she came to visit me at the weekends. And then she got sick and died.”

“This,” he said, gesturing for the town, “was a crime of passion.”

Holly blinked. “With an eleven-year-old?”

“Ye’ll forgive me for being a bit… sensitive about this,” he said, his tone so gentle he hoped that it took the sting out of his words.

“Yeah. So.”

He looked at her, dangling the empty container between his knees and tapping it against the tent they made of the blanket.

“So you’re telling me it’s over.”

He looked at her. He didn’t want it to be over, but neither did he know what to make of all of this. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” she scoffed. “Well, either you’re in love with me or you aren’t. I know I am. In love with you.”

He stared at her, his heart racing, ready to skip a few beats. It was painful, and he felt for the blister pack in his pocket. “Ye are?”

“For a DI and an avid reader you’re remarkably thick,” she choked, tears spilling from her eyes. They polished the brown sea glass and made them shine.

“Holly, I…”

She was in love with _him_?

“No, it’s… it’s all right,” she said, drying her cheeks with rough wipes of her flat hands. “I understand.”

“No, Holly, let me…”

“Good luck catching the murderer,” she said, tearing the blanket off her knees and jumping up. “I have lessons to teach.”

He stood too, clutching the blanket to him.

“Holly, no!”

His chest felt tight as he watched her hurrying away, her steps slowed by the pebbles and sand. Dropping the blanket he cursed and found the blister pack of pills in his trouser pocket.

 _Just don’t drop them,_ he thought, releasing the pills from their blisters with shaky fingers. He popped them into his mouth, swallowed them painfully and took a few deep breaths.

_Pleasepleaseplease._

The blood was rushing in his ears.

“Holly,” he said, but the wind tore her name from his lips and scattered the letters all over the beach. “I love you too.”


End file.
